1) Listen to your needs, don’t ignore your internal cues. If you ignore yourself, the less you will know what you need, or want from life. Ignoring needs also increases anxiety and indecisiveness.
2) Practice saying “no” to others. Setting a boundary is important in cultivating and protecting your energy, and sense of self. While society/culture/family may have taught that saying “yes” is kind and saying “no” is unkind, the truth is that every time you say “yes” against your own will, you not only get further away from who you truly are, but hurt yourself in the process of “pleasing” others. This self “sacrifice” and “abandonment” can add up over time and increase symptoms of depression, isolation, and disconnection from self and then from others.
3) Lower the volume of the critical voice within. Most people have a “critical voice” within that will criticize the internal self with negative comments, such as “you are not good enough” “you can’t do it” “stop being who you are so you can fit in” and many other negative comments. These are all statements in the mind that do not help in thriving, and living with purpose and meaning. Pay attention to your internal dialogue, and lower the volume of such criticisms. Because frankly, they are not based on any truth, and only minimize your sense of self-worth.
4) Love yourself. This means increasing the volume of kind comments toward your body, mind and emotions. It’s important to remember that you are a unique individual, and no one on this planet can be you. Love yourself. Practice “thanking” your body for being there for you every day, and doing the best it can to function so that you can experience the physical world. You are beautiful, standards defined by society/culture/family are only “labels” that can take you away from accepting who you really are, and seeing and embracing your beauty and vitality. Practice thanking your mind, for taking care of yourself, and thinking and computing all day, and dreaming at night. Your mind is a wonderful tool, but it is not all of you, so don’t get stuck there for too long. Appreciate its strength. Practice thanking and validating your feelings. Feelings are profound expressions of yourself that will take you as close to your truth as possible, don’t mark them as “unimportant.” Denying feelings, is a form of self-denial, which can increase anxiety, and internal states of disconnection. Mindfully observe and feel your emotions, and know that they are like clouds. They always move on.
5) Stay curious. Your interests, desires, insights, and needs in life shift. You cannot pin yourself down and “be the same” for the rest of your life. You are constantly evolving and shifting, know that it is “ok” to change your mind. Commit to life experiences that help you evolve and grow. Seek psychotherapy for self-exploration and discovery. Curiosity about your own Self can lead to treasures within that you may otherwise not stumble upon.
